Better

So I work with this girl who makes me want to be the best supervisor I can. she constantly puts forth true effort and attempts to better herself at whatever is placed in front of her. You can tell she does it sincerely. Its strictly for her own benefit…she doesn’t do it to impress anyone else. She does it for herself. We just reap the benefits of her hard work. I hope she realizes that trying to be better is to be better.

There was a boy...

Not so long ago, in a place not so far away.

There Lived a boy, this boy was raised by a mother and a father. And for this he was thankful. But he did not show it well. He also was a sibling to two others, an older and younger brother. And for this he was thankful. But he did not show it well. He had a large family, great grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and many cousins. he even was fortunate enough to of found a girl who loved him so much she'd spend the rest of her life with him...And for this he was thankful. But once again, he did not show this well. He was fortunate to have surrounded himself by great people he now knows as his friends. And this he was thankful for. But none the less he has failed at expressing how he really cares for each and every one of them. And so our story starts with this boy sitting down at his computer and deciding to write a story about this failure…and in this, he hopes he will be able to overcome this obstacle and share how he feels with the people he cares for…

Arrogant and Pompous

So today I had a discussion with an individual, and In this conversation it was brought to my attention that to a majority of people feel I come across as Arrogant or Pompous. That in a way I make claims of pretensions to superior importance or rights. As I look at my life in a different light… I feel that I can see where these feelings may arise. In this aspect, the way I address individuals… no matter who they are, I am unassuming… I do not assume you know what I’m talking about. No matter how common and simple it may be. I feel like it eliminates room for error in misunderstanding or miscommunication. But during this process is where I come across as patronizing.  Like I think they are stupid or incompetent. But that’s where I feel THEY are assuming… doing the very thing I am trying to avoid. They are assuming they know what I mean before I break it down… why not entertain the idea that I’m just trying to be clear. Not that I think your unintelligent. Why? Because we are self-interested by nature… I don’t mean in physical things or sacrifice. But that we think of our feelings as truth. That whatever we feel is validated as legit. Unfortunately, feelings are based off perception… and ones perception will always be different from another’s. Our own self image interferes with the actual situation at hand. The desired effect is a narcissistic gain, a boost to stimulate our self-image. This is the base on which our personality is constructed. And here is where I am patronizing and arrogant. An individual's self-concept is the core of their personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life… not to assume that because you FEEL someone is patronizing you that they themselves are arrogant or pompous, but in fact they may be striving to reach outside of their own perception of the situation to ensure you see it as they do… or maybe I’m just arrogant and pompous.

Same as Bull

dont you sometimes wish that for one moment people would just lay it all out and just be real with you... just stop and say what they really feel without the fear of being judged or having any consequence. i'm not an "i hate the world" kind of person. i just hate having to play pretend....i hate when others pretend with me... when your little you pretend all the time, but what your pretending is real to you. when you get older...you pretend even more, but its not real to you. you know it the whole time that your hiding along with everyone else... one day what we think in the dark will be revealed in the light

put a gun against his head...

queen woke me up this morning, it was nice to wake up to a little fredy merc. it was magnifico ohh ohh ohh ohh i cant get it out of my head... then i realized, i dont care.... i dont care to get it out of my head. i like it... i enjoy getting songs "stuck" in my head... its positive, at least I'm not thinking about stressfull things or anything negative... so sing sing and sing

Candy Sticks

i sat sitting at my computer at work starring at my moniter with my mouth half open waiting for something... anything to happen... as i stared, an old halloween candy wrapper i had taped to my computer caught my eye..."candy sticks" it said with a big pic of spider-man. i thought of how they tasted....bad... and yet i ate them...because they had a pic of spiderman on the package. the things iam willing to compromise for my hero

Started Today...

today it rained. this morning i ran to my car getting soaked. when i got into my car i sat for a moment feeling gross, wet and uncomfortable. driving to work feeling the same. arriving at work i had to run once more through the rain. when i entered my work i felt the same as before...gross, wet and uncomfortable. i sat down at my computer and started away...before i even knew it i was fine. dry, beautiful and comfortable. bad times pass... good times come...

FACT of LIFE

Fact of life my friends, lets say you live to be 95... there are 365 days in a year... 365 x 95 = 34,675 days.

So that's 34,675 days you lived on this earth... now take into account sleep, which we'll assume is 8 hours a night... that means your alive for 832,200 hours but only awake for roughly 554,800 of them.

which would literally be 1/3 of your life.

You sleep 1/3 of your life away...
What's this mean?

Get a nice Bed, you're spending 1/3 of your life in it ;)

WHO I AM

my life...what i want...i want to invoke the imagination, provoke the sense and evoke the emotions of your mind...to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary and stimulate the imagination to my world...a world where something else is possible

Life Bling

I am sure you have gone through rough times...everyone has, in some form or another. but did you wait it out? did you try and make the best out of it? or did you focus on the negative? life is being wasted every negative moment....so turn your coal into diamonds and wear them proudly

Desire

people always say...why do you do this? why do you like that? joe....thats not even worth it. but what they dont understand is its not the the value of a particular object or anything...its the desire for it that gives it value

Sympathetic Heart

i have recently come upon a revalation...not of any phenominal grandchuer...just a revelation of sympathy a sympathetic heart you tell me your problem...your situation and i always had something to say some sort of answer or opinion ........i heard everything you said, even evaluated it..... but did i just listen did i give time to you without taking some for me? was i trying to prove something to you...or me? sometimes the best answer isnt my so called advice, but just the time i give with a sympathetic heart

What Is Still Possible

...what is still possible... I wish people would stop consulting in only their fears... but instead consult in their hopes and dreams.... I wish they’d stop concentrating on what their scared of or failed at... but concentrate on what is still possible to do I mean really think about it... can you imagine what and where we'd be? of course you’re going to get scared of course you’re going to fail but our greatest victory isn’t in never failing but in rising every time we fall

Truth and Trust

I believe that the truth is one of the most important ingredients to a relationship or Friendship...
if this person loves you or is your friend....they deserve the truth
give them all of it
.....But I’ve encountered problems with this total honesty.
Not mad response or losses because of the truth...

(Which may be inevitable)
but more of them NOT believing the truth you have given them.
if I give nothing but the truth....don’t I deserve your trust as you deserve the truth? Why is it up to you what the truth is?
why is you who tells me if I am telling you the truth?
why is it I don’t receive all your trust?
Its funny how it works...all you have do is call someone a liar to make what YOU believe the truth to be, actual truth.

For Granted...

It seems as if I awake that split second right before my alarm clock goes off.

Already throwing my arm lethargically through the air to hit the snooze button.

Silence.

As I lay there trying to return to the realm of dreams, it's as if now the sun suddenly arrives at the perfect angel to warm my face while maliciously  illuminating my eyes. The warm red glow piercing right through my eyelids…. I tighten them only to realize moments later its not helping much, if at all. Turning my head the other way where the sun cant be so ruthless… while in thought, I stop trying to sleep…and in this moment when I stop trying to sleep. I find my self in the paradise I longed for with out ever realizing when it happened. And in my dreams I aspired to my dream. Sometime later I awake from my paradise…taking for granted everything I just achieved. Over thinking something is a real thing. Sometimes it's just as simple as it seems. 

Passion

An insinuation that passion has found its favor with you would be an emotional dispersion with what or the one you lose sleep over. 


The truth of your desire.


A sensation presumed to be of unreal actuality. Is what was felt before a fabrication of an unreal emotion? Or a prearranged process of events, leaving you in the arms of passion with out a fighting chance of returning to an old reality? It is better not to return but just to embrace and remember it.


A desperate longing for the old way is only a fear of what’s to come. To fear what is to come is a blatant limitation to the passion that brought you to where you stand now.

Stolen

lot of really bad thing have been happening to me, it hurts.

i once had over three hundred dollars worth of stuff stolen from my car...stuff that had sentimental meaning as well

i seriously was so mad i felt tears swelling up

i really wanted to let them fall down my cheek

i wanted to hate everyone

i just couldnt though

i deserved it

ive stolen before

maybe not as bad as your thinking but never the less i stole

and no matter how much i hated them from stealing from me

i could only think that i made some one else upset out there at one time for the same reasons

i made them want to cry

they say what comes around gose around right?

well i got it

The Most Of Nothing

its not familiar

its expected
disapointment...
it seems that if you expect disapointment....
when it happens, its not so bad. right?
but dosent that mean you didnt have faith in the first place?
no trust?
no optamistic out look on whats to come?
just a low expectation to make your self feel better when it falls through.
sounds like an excuse to me
giving little to nothing is giving up
expect the most
and if hope fails
stive again to make the best out of what little you have

the most of nothing

Childhood Fantasy

A child hood fantasy

Ever since he was little, he wanted to be different.

He would always imagine himself stronger, faster, smarter and all of the above. Infatuated with super heroes such as Raphael from the teenage mutant ninja turtles. He would run around the house throwing cards at people as if he was Gambit from X-men.

Jumping from couch to chair as would spider-man. The playground, his base of operations.

Acorns as weapons. A stick with some curve to it resembling a sword. Fantasy.

With his friends they would disappear all day. Disappear into their world where all is possible. Of course they would constantly bend their rules, let alone break them to fit what they needed at the time. Even with these unfair rules they seemed to get along.

“If you could make a wish for a super power, what would it be?” he would ask.

Getting all sorts of answers such as “I would want to be able to fly” or “super strength” or “turn invisible” you know, the usual. He would reply something along the lines with “I would have the super power of spider-man” they would respond “no...you cant do that….that’s more than one super power….he has super strength, speed and agility….plus he has the spider sense…..and lets not forget the whole web thing……you said one super power” he’d smile as if he knew something they didn’t. “It was given to him all at once, therefore its one….and a didn’t say one…I said A, super power….and I want his”

For some reason he liked spider-man more than other super hero’s. Even ones stronger, faster and smarter. He didn’t want to be the best. He wanted to be spider-man. What he represented to him. He liked the whole idea of what he could do all together. So super man is stronger faster and has more powers. He didn’t like that he was to perfect with only one weakness. How do you relate with that? So bat man has more gadgets….he’s useless with out them. He just knows a little kung fu. And so on and so on. For some reason or another he felt as if he actually had a chance ob being closer to spider-man then any other super hero. Like he could grow up to be like him. All of his attributes. He wanted this fantasy to be with him. He wanted to defy actuality and be spider-man.

            Today he is not spider-man; never the less he has never forgotten his fantasy.

He represents his hero with being different. So he’s older and has a spider-man clock and phone. He put himself up for ridicule for his inspiration as he would for him.