HATE N' GRUDGES

Recently I have been witnessing a lot of anger and negativity around me… I think these people that are harnessing these negative feelings and seemingly worthless anger really need to step back and realize that their anger is an emotion that can provide them with a good indicator that they should either change the circumstances that exist within their life… or remove themselves from the situation. Emotions can be “used” and “misused”. The thing is…it seems that the majority of people lack the anger management skills that are necessary to keep them feeling happy in their lives without making them feel like a victim…. Always the victim.

I even recently asked someone I saw doing this “…why are you choosing this negative path?...how is it you can nurse a grudge against someone who gave you a dirty look for years… while at the same time When someone you love screams at you, you forgive them in a few days.” They responded by saying “basically people hold grudges because they believe that by simply removing the offender from their life that it will make their own life better…it feels like winning.”

I fear this only does more harm than help

One reason that holding grudges is a bad idea is that cutting off all communication with an individual causes them to be unable to seek forgiveness from you… There is no chance that the conflict that you are having with the individual will be resolved when you do your best to avoid them. Oftentimes, misunderstandings of a lack of foresight are the reasons that people get into arguments, and by cutting off communication with the other person, you may very well be making the problem worse…Another problem with holding a grudge is that when you hold a grudge against someone, you cast all the blame for your anger on that individual and are often too proud to admit that you may be at fault in one way or another yourself. You won’t be able to grow or correct similar problems in the future if you simply cut yourself off from the person.

 Life is too short to be hung up on hate and grudges, and being unforgiving may make you feel invulnerable, but it will most definitely cost you happiness in the long run.