"As I get older” I guess you could say, things get clearer and priorities get real.
Its hard to imagine having a midlife crisis in my future. Ive done, experienced and accomplished an incredible amount of things that create the most vivid memories. Im not anxious, stressed or worried... Im Happy. Like Legit Happy.
(Are we invested in other peoples Happiness?)
I must admit, I desire for very little because most of my Hearts Desires are being granted before I even realize I desire the very thing given. However there is this one thing that I’ve come to realize I desire that I seemingly don’t Have.
Companionship.
Now I know what you may be thinking… “aren’t you a christian? shouldn’t Christ be enough?”… if you weren’t thinking that …I was, So naturally I looked into this.
The very first thing that you should come across while researching this should be Genesis 2:18
“And Yahweh Elohim said “It is not good for man to be alone, I am going to make a helper for him, as his Counter part.” Enter Eve, the helper and lover of Adam.
Depending on your translation it may say something like “I will make a helper suitable to him” or something similar but ultimately…the same. So right off the bat in the 2nd chapter of the very 1st book in the Bible, we have God telling us Companionship is essential… but to be even more clear, This scripture is specifically noting this particular companionship is not with him, but with another.
You have to understand at this point Ive already been Married and yet, Divorced. Ive tasted Companionship the way God intended. What its like to have someone in your life that is completely invested in you as much as you are with them. From the very big decisions to the little ones, like "what movie are we gonna watch tonight?”.
In fact it is those very "seemingly minuscule" things I miss the most. As of now, Ill watch a funny movie… laughing so hard I can’t breathe… yet, Id be doing all this alone. I can’t deliver a "zoolander" line to christ and watch him bust up laughing... I can’t refer to it in a situation where mentioning may be perfect comedic timing… are you following me?
Im not talking about “sex” either... However companionship can be actually expressed in good sex. Im talking about someone you trust which is an essential ingredient of companionship… not just friendship… but REAL companionship. Someone we can talk with and just as importantly, someone we can be silent with. We experience some of these things with our Good friends, but even still as the saying goes "unless they’re going to bed with you at night and waking up with you in the morning, its lacking". Ive experienced similar companionship with roommates and even my band mates. But those things even seem to fade with time. A Godly companion however encourages their counterpart in holiness, edifies them by cultivating their own spiritual life, contributing to the economic well-being of the relationship, makes them laugh, makes them think on a deeper level, and so much more. Companionship is a tremendous blessing, in both large and small ways. So ultimately, there's this feeling in me of “lacking”. Don’t get me wrong, God is absolutely enough!!! And you may even want to raise the question that aren’t we living in a world corrupted by sin? couldn't this be why we need companionship in this world? That being said I hope you understand God didn’t just express the need for companionship after the world fell to sin…but before. Thats right… we’re talking a "perfect world" and yet God says "It is not good for man to be alone” even in this perfect world.
Then the Next Verse I came across was the apostle Paul recognizing that "it is better to marry than burn" with desire (1 Corinthians 7:9). Hold up… so now we have an apostle suggesting That it is better for a Man to Marry, which by design offers real and deep companionship, rather then to seek that companionship through other superficial means of pleasure.
In fact verse after verse it becomes abundantly clear that Jesus did not live selfishly. He did not sequester himself. He took a bride for His own, loving her sacrificially. Loving Us.
so whats my point?
That if you’re feeling lonely or lacking… find peace in knowing this is how we were designed, its why we seek christ in the first place.... because what we lack, is the very thing our Heavenly Father offers. I could easily get side tracked on how this furthers my thoughts concerning pursuing your Relationship with Christ over your religion with him, but thats for a different post all together.
None the Less, I want to be real with you… just because Christ is Enough, doesn’t mean we don’t have the moments that weigh heavy on our Hearts as we realize or reflect on our lack of companionship in this world. Once again, I have great Family and Friends in my life…and my Relationship with Christ is unshakable…but even I can have a moment where I feel the absence of true companionship made so evident from the memories of my marriage, then having it taken away. Ive come so far since then, but its all still very real. And let me just say it is a weird and difficult struggle to convey, wanting companionship but the fear of that same companionship potentially being a distraction to your relationship with God. Its like I actively seek companionship, yet I actively don’t. When you catch yourself reflecting on the lack of companionship in your life, it shouldn't take long to easily counter that with the revelation of the one companion who’s always been there, closer than a brother and all the work he's been doing in your life because he choose you.
Proverbs 18:24
